I'm sore.

We did 37 miles in total, from Fenham to...I don't know where. A bridge past Prudhoe, I think. It didn't matter to me then. I left Ideal Brown to phone Willy-Man to arrange a meeting place for lunch while I silently had a word with my thighs. I had to make a deal that promised food within the hour followed by gorging myself all of Sunday otherwise (they said) they wouldn't take me any further.

Unfortunately that soon to be digested something was to be at The Duke of Wellington in Newton, which, while incredible was still a while away. About another third of the outward journey over a 310ft climb through Stocksfield.

I love that my Pashley Britannia can get me pretty much anywhere, if slowly. It definitely helps that I've had the gears lowered (the cheapest and fastest option if you want to start getting up hills on your Great British Tank)

I took mine to Edinburgh Bicycle in Byker and it was done in a day. The guys there are really helpful and never make you feel like a dick for asking silly questions (which I do). I definitely owe them a packet of biscuits.

Hopefully I can get my old rusted Raleigh Royal fixed up for next Summer. Ideal Brown wears Rapha and the wind in his 2 cm long hair. I wear 20 kilos of beautiful lugwork and thighs that can crack open coconuts. We need to meet closer to the middle and that means more speed and less ding-dong bell.

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