I'm dying to go for a bike ride, but I still have a halved golf ball sized lump of gristle on my shoulder where I landed on it 10 days ago. Lady Gaga would be jealous on my authentic shoulder horn, I'm sure. I'm prone taking spectacular falls trying to do totally unremarkable things: like cycling up a 2 inch high piece of pavement.

That's not to say that I'm avoiding a ride because of the lump. The lump is only the tip of my pain iceberg, which I think would explode if I went over so much as a speed bump with all my upper body weight leaning down on my drop bars. I just peed a little bit imagining it.

As long as it's grey, I'll be alright. I hope that those buoyant sun shiny spring mornings arrive in time with my regaining the full use of my arm and shoulder.

We meet loads of horses when we go out cycling. It's as if someone shook a box of animals over the countryside or something.

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